Fecked up
by ZombieRabbit
Summary: naughty language! sorry this is up again but i wanted to post it up for a friend
1. fecked up

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Conker shit so don't sue me...k? Good!  
  
Ok, last weekend...*thinking really hard*.....10-06-01 I asked a friend over to go see a movie but that's not the point. After the movie we played Conker's BFD. We played the raptor game, we both were raptors. Oh I forgot my friend's name is Erin...known as DixieGoddess in fan fiction terms, you should read some of her stories, they are funny! But anyways back to MY story. So we created names for the Ugabugas like the crossbow Ugabuga is called asshole and the bone Ugabuga is a fucker (no weapon), the ones with knives are bitches, the one that goes after the egg is a damn, and when he gets the egg he's a damn it. We also created names for the eggs and the baby dino. The baby's name was Shit and the eggs where, Pimp (far left), Slut (middle) Hoe (far right) also known as Brittany...its an inside joke. So instead of writing Erin said or I said, I'm just going to use like hyphens...k? So when you see a DG that means Erin said it...if ya see a PD that means I said it...got it?  
Good! This isn't the first chapter; this is just to inform you about what is going to happen and I gave you people some background. Be happy! Or my friend's purple flesh eating llamas will get ya! * Dr. Evil look* Muwhahahahahahahaah....sorry getting alittle freaky there. That happens sometimes, that's just me. Ok well I think I should get to the story now, or maybe I should just keep chatting bout how I'm evil and insane. Well anyways, ok well now that my mom got me off track let me think...*grr*...ok now I remember, there will be no Starbucks coffee in this story..Sorry to all you cafinated people, but there just isn't a place to fit it in, well maybe, I'll see what I can do. Well now that you read this you all are probably dumber than before, but hey what the hell do I know? So read the next chapter which is really the first chapter.........whatever.........what are you waiting for?....Didn't I say go read the next chapter? Stop following me......leave me alone!  
.......ahahahahahaha! 


	2. fecked up for awhile

Disclaimer: same shit as before, inless you didn't read but y would you? Oh well I'll shut up now.....*Walks off in to the distance and disappears into the sunset*   
  
Author thingy: k so this is MY story, yes you heard right it's all mine *same Dr. Evil look as before* Muwahahahahahaha!  
  
K well unlike my friend Erin I don't have imaginary friends so don't expect anything like that. Got it? Good!  
  
Oh and don't forget DG (short for DixieGoddess) stands for things Erin said, and PD (short for Panda) stands for things Amanda said.  
  
K well on with the story get reading! Thanks to for reading this...oh god I'm pathetic.  
  
Fecked Up For Awhile  
  
It all started simple enough just two good friends playing Conker's BFD (thank god that Erin remembered her controller this time).  
  
PD: man I want to play Conker's BFD, lets play the raptor game.  
  
DG: Ok this time I want to be a bastered, (oh I forgot to tell you the raptors are called Bastereds).  
  
PD: Ok this time I'll be an Uga buga and I'll kill the other cave men. (So after a while I just killed myself a couple times and I turned into a cave man with a crossbow).  
  
PD: Damn I'm an asshole.  
  
DG: lol. Really?!, (being funny)  
  
After a few times of killing other cave men and running from DG's raptor friend trying not to get killed, sadly I like failed a couple times, I finally decided I to would like to try and be a bastered.  
  
We started out innocently enough but after a few kills we got alittle...well lets just say we got pretty weird. We gave all the Uga Bugas names, the baby dino and the eggs, (shown on the first page enless you were rude enough to just skip it!)  
  
DG: Damn I got shot on my asshole.  
  
PD: That's why they are called assholes.  
  
DG: Oh, now I know. lol  
  
PD: Shit (I got hit by an Uga Buga)  
  
DG: No shit is at home.  
  
PD: Oh yeah my bad.  
  
After a few kills... well make that like one or two kills cause we had like all the Uga Bugas after us and they were Einsteins. So we just stayed in the nest, (our little hellhole). I (PD) kept running up to the top of the nest part by the bombs hoping not to get hit, while Erin (DG) ran around getting hit, I jumped down trying to safe her, I did like once and failed a lot. But like every time I got hit I'ld yell shit, (notice that my mom was out shopping so I could yell anything I wanted) Erin would say, it's always Shit's fault, isn't it? Making fun of me in a friendly way.  
  
PD: yes it is!  
  
DG: Yep it's always our little hell messenger's fault.  
  
Both blab out laughing  
  
Once an Uga Buga came and took our egg! And it was Pimp! He stole Pimp, he just can't do that! So we were yelling to each other that that damn it stole Pimp! It was pretty funny, but you would have had to of been there. Finally one of us killed him, after escaping the other little demons.  
  
Once a damn it fried our egg when Erin was just seconds behind. She look at the egg and jumped in the frying pan, (I think it was funny and don't worry it was only Slut so it wasn't that bad).  
  
Author's notes again: Aren't you happy? NO! What I worked hard on this and you don't like it? Oh well that's nice, well I really don't care to much, but still it's my work, if ya want to read more about our lets say happy night then just review and I'll write more, if not then I won't continue, and the best hasn't even started. So ya should review, or my friends purple flesh-eating llamas will get you! They will I tell ya! * To very strong guys carry PD off the computer in a straight jacket* I'll be back I swear I'll be b.a..c..k! 


	3. fecked up again

Disclaimer: Look I don't own shit! Well except for my new computer, yes my very own computer. It's an early b-day present, but it was a gift from my great uncle. But hey lets get on to the story.  
  
Hey Hoe  
  
Blame Canada! Sorry it's a song I like, but don't blame me! Shut your fuckin face! Hahahaha god I love that song.......opps ok for the story.  
  
Sup? Ok this is another insane chapter, and most likely last too, but why would you care? Ok so after DG was done with her killing rampage and after I was done playing we like watched TV then went to bed. Isn't that exciting? That was the day DG left...boohoo. HA! The next weekend was a time for Conker's BFD (well what time isn't a Conker's BFD day?). We played till like......well it was a long time. But to let you people know (who ever reads this) that I say stuff backwards sometimes and other stuff like really dumb, but I don't have a disease or sumthin it just happens but anyways so if ya see like cave the killmen don't freak you read it right. Oh and Tiff is a different friend who was over that weekend. She's one of my best friends out of two and you guessed it DG is my other best friend, Tiff is known by all as mushroom so if ya see mushroom it's just Tiff. Oh and sumthin I hate about mushroom is that she hits you really hard if ya swear so I had a couple black and blue  
marks after the fist couple deaths in raptor. But we were the raptors and Tiff not at all being like DG (DG insane) Tiff actually was a little smarter, if possible, and she-it-thing-him-Mr. America! Wutever you want to call it, stayed at the hell hole and waited for the little shits, while I was a well staying back and watching from the top of the entrance. When they finally got passed they came to me. So I started catching them when they jumped (heehee I'm a brain ain't I?) and I told mushroom lets cave the killmen, but I meant lets kill the cavemen this way. So now whenever you stay on the top of the entrance and you catch the assholes in your mouth when they jump you can say you caved a killmen, like mushroom always says now. Oh and not to get out of the subject but I just want to say if my cousin is as old as I think he is.....then I don't know how old he is (for DG). Have you ever played beach with the little squirrels on Einstein and you are the bears? We have and it's  
not too easy but funny as hell. Mushroom and I have like code names for the places in the areas, and we are just shouting out like, look there's one on the patch or on the green (it was funny)Tiff being really nice was a sniper! (She hits them but misses a lot) so I used my fav. weapon the buzz-buzz (bazooka) to kill the frenchy freaks. I turned them into frenchy french fries! Heehee I'm evil, *Dr. Evil look* Muwahahahahahahaha! Mushroom though is not really fun I mean god I can't swear or I'll get smacked wut fun is that? But I can use Tiff to my advantage, like the one time DG was in the same chat room as me and we were in a fight. Well tiff was at my house and watching, and DG was on fire, there were swears flying everywhere and after the fight (with someone else not use against each other) I told DG that tiff is behind me. Hahahaha, the next day at school was not a nice one, well not for DG! Opps got off the subject again, my bad, well hell with it. Back to the story!  
Ummm well like there's not much left, but I have a few things to say. Tiff I need to ask you a question...do you have a problem you need to work out by yourself? And DG is this plugged in? Oh and DG I hope you like this story I wrote it for you, and I say the carrots shall rise once again and kill all the pickles! Go carrots! GO PIMP! Well no author notes I guess but I'll try to write more stories and finish the ones I forgot about, but who ever reads this I need to ask you a favor, please! Will ya please please please read the after math? It's my matrix fic. I finished it along time ago but no one ever reviewed the last chapter, I feel bad I mean sure it sucks it was my first fic. But please tell me if it's worth the space that it took up, thanks. Even you assholes that don't read it thanks for being yourself! Sorry I can turn evil but I'm really practically a pacifist, inless you say sumthin bad about DG!!!! I will shove your god damn ugly fuckin face so far down your  
throat you can say hi to your fuckin lungs!!!! Just a reminder for Jordon I'm not afraid of getting kicked out of the skate ring for painting the pavement red!!!!! Oops sorry, but umm like I gotta go, bye ya all, oh and my neon blue radioactive sheep are fine incase anyone wonders, bye......oh and sorry for the wait but we just got rid of aol and now have elknet. Ewww, incase anyone wants to e-mail me which I doubt, my e-mail address is pushedrabbit@hotmail.com 


End file.
